Saturday, September 26, 2009

Wuzzup y'all.

Not a whole heck of a lot to report I'm afraid to say. Just thought I'd post some weekend quick hits. So on with the show!

1) Contrariwise is a website dedicated to literary tattoos. Does my tattoo count?

2) Here is a soundboard of audience sound effects (and more). I wish I had this back when I was doing the podcasts.

3) Cartoon adaptations of popular TV shows.

4) RemainInPlay offers 20 years of free retro games. Awsome site.

5) Fonolo is a handy web service that lets you skip the phone menu instructions and connects you directly to your desired extension. Instead of listening to the instructions you can visually scan the phone menu and click the spot you need to call.

6) Netflix has put the word out that it wants to stream movies on ALL consoles not just the XBox 360. So smarten up Sony, and get on the bus.

7) The Consumer Action Handbook is a free government publication, stuffed with advice on filing consumer complaints, finding money for college, resolving air travel issues, and much more. You can grab a free PDF now, or have it mailed to anybody.

8) Hey Panthers fans! Check out the encouraging words that Steve Smith had for Jake Delhomme in this video. Holy smokes.

9) The 50 most interesting articles on Wikipedia.

That's it motherlovers. Have a listen to Crash by The Apemen, my new favorite Trash/Surf band.


Best Buy Rip Offs

Mutilator (1985)

Disco Brady

Wednesday, September 23, 2009


Mackenzie Phillips To Oprah: Decade Of Sex With Dad Ended With Abortion

CHICAGO -- Former child star Mackenzie Phillips said Wednesday her father, John Phillips, who was a leader of the 1960s pop group the Mamas and the Papas, raped her when she was a teenager and that her sexual relationship with him later became what she termed "consensual."

Mackenzie Phillips writes in her new book, "High on Arrival," that she had sex with her father on the night before she was to get married in 1979 at age 19, according to People magazine.

Phillips wrote in her book: "I woke up that night from a blackout to find myself having sex with my own father."

She told "The Oprah Winfrey Show" in an interview that aired Wednesday that her siblings "definitely have a problem with this." Winfrey also read a statement from Genevieve Waite, John Phillips' wife at the time of the alleged abuse and Mackenzie's stepmother that said he was "incapable, no matter how drunk or drugged he was, of having such a relationship with his own child."

Phillips, who starred on TV's "One Day at a Time," said the sexual relationship with her father lasted a decade and ended when she became pregnant and didn't know who had fathered the child. She had an abortion, which her father paid for, and "and I never let him touch me again."

Phillips told Winfrey that she first tried cocaine when she was 11 years old. Her father did drugs with her, taught her to roll joints and injected her with cocaine. Phillips said she's been clean for a year after pleading guilty to possessing cocaine and entering a drug treatment program.

Phillips said the sexual relationship, although she believes it became consensual, was "an abuse of power" and "a betrayal" on her father's part. She said she forgave John Phillips on his deathbed.

"I can't be the only one this has happened to," Phillips said. "Someone needs to put a face on consensual incest."

Horatio says:

I guess the nut... didn't fall too far from the tree.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

It's official.

Ex-NFL Star Burress Sentenced to Jail

Posted Sep 22, 2009 10:09 AM

NEW YORK (Sept. 22) - Former Super Bowl star Plaxico Burress was sentenced Tuesday to two years in prison for possessing a gun at a night club.The former New York Giants star tearfully told his family goodbye as he surrendered to begin his prison stint for attempted criminal possession of a weapon after accidentally shooting himself in the thigh.Burress was indicted on two counts of weapon possession and one count of reckless endangerment and pleaded guilty Aug. 20. He had faced a minimum sentence of 3 1/2 years on those charges if convicted at trial. He pleaded to the lesser charge and agreed to the two-year term.With time off for good behavior, Burress likely will serve 20 months. He will be monitored an additional two years after he is freed from prison, which could come as early as the spring of 2011.The Giants released Burress in April, but the 32-year-old told ESPN he hopes to resume his NFL career when he completes his sentence.Before the hearing began, Burress played with his preschool-age son, Elijah. Then he hugged and kissed his wife, child, father, grandmother and stepmother.Burress was so soft-spoken during his apologetic courtroom address that onlookers could not understand him.Defense lawyer Benjamin Brafton said, "This is a very real tragic case in many, many ways.'' He called Burress "a fundamentally decent man.''Burress, who caught the winning touchdown for the Giants over the previously undefeated New England Patriots in the final minute of the 2008 Super Bowl, and former teammate Antonio Pierce were at the Latin Quarter nightclub in Manhattan last November when a gun tucked into Burress' waistband slipped down his leg and fired, wounding him.The gun was not licensed in New York or in New Jersey, where Burress lived. His license to carry a concealed weapon in the Florida had expired in May 2008.Pierce, who drove Burress to a hospital after the shooting, was not indicted.Brafman previously said Burress was thinking of his family in taking the plea, but the attorney questioned the recommended prison sentence."This was not an intentional criminal act,'' Brafman said the day of the plea. "In my judgment, a two-year prison sentence is a very severe punishment.''

Stuck in My Head

Steven Spielberg thinks you're a goddamned idiot.

Steven Spielberg, who has a producer credit on the upcoming low budget horror film Paranormal Activity, tells this story.

Steven Spielberg was certain his copy of “Paranormal Activity” was haunted.
It was early 2008, and the director’s DreamWorks studio was trying to decide whether it wanted to be a part of the micro-budgeted supernatural thriller. As the story goes, Spielberg had taken a “Paranormal Activity” DVD to his Pacific Palisades estate, and not long after he watched it, the door to his empty bedroom inexplicably locked from the inside, forcing him to summon a locksmith.
While Spielberg didn’t want the “Paranormal Activity” disc anywhere near his home — he brought the movie back to DreamWorks in a garbage bag, colleagues say — he very much shared his studio’s enthusiasm for director Oren Peli’s haunting story about the demonic invasion of a couple’s suburban tract house.
[LA Times blog]

Not that it was any secret before that he thinks that normal folk are morons, but this is pretty overt, even for him. I cannot stand this guy.

Separated at Birth

80s Dating Video Douche and Fat Weird Al

I'm guilty of my share.

The Most Irritating Phrases in the English Language

Cliches from 2006: best.[something].ever, I just threw up in my mouth, going green, [blank] is the new [blank], tween, douche, rad, drama, blogosphere, ginormous, bajillion, totes, bro, bra, bromance.

Office Jargon: team-building, value-added, grassroots, reach out, multitasking, no-brainer, low-hanging fruit, monetize, ping.

Faux Ghetto Slang: killin it, for real/for reals/on the real/keepin' it real, hit me up, oh snap!, chillaxing.

Unnecessary Conjunctions and Transitions:
no offense but ..., all of the sudden, basically, ironically, actually, honestly, totally, hopefully, as to whether, I swear to God, you know.

Misused/Mispronounced Phrases: irregardless (for "regardless"), aggravate (for "irritate"), anyways/towards (anyway, toward), for all intensive purposes (for "for all intents and purposes"), suppose to (for "supposed to"), could of (for "could have"), analyzing/analyzation (for "analysis"), literally (when meant figuratively).

Internet acronyms/LOLCat slang (Even When Used Ironically): OMG, i can haz, LOLz, teh Internets, Oh noes!, Obvs, PWN.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Quick Hits

What's up, Kats and Kittens?

Things are going very well around here. I didn't get around to making the pasta this weekend (I probably spent too much time doing this) but I plan on making it in the near future. The Pats lost to the big mouth Jets which is a drag, but at the same time my fantasy team went berserk this week, thanks to the outstanding performances of Matt Schaub and Chris Johnson. Chris Johnson went friggin' nuts! Bam. Here are some links to check out.

1) The top ten Charles Bronson films. Something you didn't know about me - I do a near perfect Charles Bronson imitation. No kidding. It's spot on.

2) The Saddest X-Men Costumes of All Time.

3) A Bad Case of the Dates is a blog that documents peoples bad date stories. I've got one that'll knock your socks off. Remind me to tell you some time.

4) 7 good reasons to drink coffee. I've got one! How about, "I drink coffee so that I don't go completely crazy and kill everyone around me."? 'Cause if I didn't drink coffee I'd go completely crazy and kill everyone around me.

5) How to make "hamburger" cupcakes.

6) Michael Douglas is going to play Liberace in an upcoming movie, and Matt Damon is to play his boy toy. *sings* Faaaaaaabulous!

7) Who are the Oldest Actors Playing High-Schoolers on TV?

8) Here are the movies out on DVD tomorrow.

Observe and Report
Battle for Terra
Ghosts of Girlfriends Past

Nuthin' there. I would watch Observe and Report if Anna Faris wasn't in it. She's the female Jack Black. Utterly useless. Have a listen to Bourgeois Shangri-La by Miss Li.


Sunday, September 20, 2009

80s Dating Agency Videos


Here is the preview of my Fantasy matchup this week. All things considered it's not that horrible (by the way, if you're a little late to this, I have what I consider to be just about the worst fantasy team imaginable). And by "not that horrible", I mean I'm not going to get the snot kicked out of me as badly as I will other weeks.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Zombies would most likely wipe out humanity if they really existed, claim scientists

By Richard Alleyne

Wednesday August 19 2009

Civilization would most likely be finished in the event of a zombie outbreak, claim Canadian mathematicians who have calculated the possible devastation caused by an attack by the fictional monsters.

Using models developed to calculate the effects of more plausible pandemics, the team from the University of Ottawa have discovered that unless man struck back quickly and aggressively then they would be doomed.

The scientific paper, which is published in a book 'Infectious Diseases Modelling Research Progress', looks at an attack by the undead creatures, who infect the living with a bite.

In their study, titled 'When Zombies Attack!', the researchers picked “classic” slow-moving zombies such as those in Dawn of the Dead as models and divided humanity into three: the living, zombies and the “removed” – zombies who had been killed by decapitation.

They concluded there was no point trying to cure those infected or live with them - the best thing was to destroy them as quickly as possible.

“A zombie outbreak is likely to lead to the collapse of civilisation, unless it is dealt with quickly,” they write in the book

“While aggressive quarantine may contain the epidemic, or a cure may lead to coexistence of humans and zombies, the most effective way to contain the rise of the undead is to hit hard and hit often.

“As seen in the movies, it is imperative that zombies are dealt with quickly, or else we are all in a great deal of trouble.”

Joe Imad, the study's co-author, said: “If you look at it in a more realistic way, zombies are about the same as any other major infectious disease, they get out and we try to eliminate them.

“Modelling zombies would be the same as modelling swine flu, with some differences for sure, but it is much more interesting to read.”


- Richard Alleyne

Monday, September 14, 2009

Another is taken.

Patrick Nagel

Quick Hits

Hi All.

It's begun. I sat back like a lazy sloth and soaked up as much football as I could yesterday. I watched football from 2pm (when I got home) until around midnight when the Bears/Packers game came to an end (Cutler - you stink). Tonight the boys in blue take on the lowly Bills in Foxborough but I'm conflicted because tonight is pick-up volleyball night, but I don't think I can miss a Monday night home opener. Too many wonderful things to do! Time for some quick hits.

1) Anyone want to see what the First Lady of France looks like? Here she is.

2) The season premiere for It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia is this Thursday on F/X at 10pm. The funniest show on television, bar none.

3) 6 easy laptop repairs: Your step-by-step guide.

4) Here's a video of a kid on his first roller coaster ride. You get the full spectrum of emotions here.

5) The gender test results are in for Caster Semenya, the South African middle distance runner. I'll take door number three, please.

6) Crayola has an online colouring page maker that lets you upload photos and convert them to colouring pages. Great fun for the kids. You could make a colouring book of your vacation photos!

7) 5 Reasons Frozen Shrimp is Better. If you buy shrimp, read this.

8) StoryBird is a cool new service for kids and parents which allows them to create nice looking storybooks online and then share them with family and friends. They can sign up and start writing stories easily. The site also features an art gallery that has all kinds of artworks which can be used in the stories.

9) A dying breed: white receivers in the NFL.

10) Good deal: 5 Weeks of $5 Downloadable PC Games at Direct2Drive.

11) Here are the movies out on DVD tomorrow.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine
Easy Virtue
Full Battle Rattle
Next Day Air
Call of the Wild 3D
Treeless Mountain

Here's More to Luv by Minnutes.



Friday, September 11, 2009

How to Kiss a Woman by Captain Kirk

Maybe there's something to this thing...

Madden Curse Takes Its Next Victim
September 11th, 2009 - 9:05 pm ICT by GD -

John Madden is one of the best rugby players of all times. He has been a star player throughout his career in the NFL.
EA Sports has launched a series of video games and to honor the yesteryear NFL star they have named their video game after him. Strangely enough whichever NFL player in today’s times features in the cover of the game invariably gets injured in the very next season of the NFL. Hence, this is known as the Madden Curse.
It may sound very superstitious to many but the recent NFL match between the Steelers and the Titans has seen Steelers Star Troy Polamalu getting injured. Incidentally, Polamalu shared the cover space of the game with another NFL star, Fitzgerald. It is reported that, Polamalu has injured his knee during Thursday night’s opening NFL match and is expected to remain off the field due to this for at least three weeks if not more.
The star NFL players who faced the same fate as that of Polamalu in the previous years are, Daunte Culpepper in 2002; who missed five games due to injury, Marshall Faulk in 2003; who missed six games and was never again seen to run for 1000 yards, Michael Vick in 2004; who broke his leg and missed eleven games, Ray Lewis in 2005; who got injured and missed one game, Donovan McNabb in 2006; who missed the last seven games of the season, Shaun Alexander in 2007; who broke his foot and missed six games.
Vince Young in 2008; who missed one game.
It only remains to be seen if Fitzgerald will face the same fate as that of Polamalu or not!
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